First dear readers, you may not be aware of what creep shaming, and friend zoning are so I will explain:
"Creep shaming" is shaming someone by describing him or his behaviour as "creepy", or in similar terms. This is usually because of doing something creepy, such as hitting on a woman persistently or disrespectfully and failing to take "no" for an answer.
Please note the gender bias in Rational Wiki's definition. This is because MRA has pretty much coined this term and intends it to be the equivalent of slut shaming.
Friend Zoning is the action of avoiding sexual relationship, marriage or other desirable long term arrangement with a man a woman finds herself close to but not attracted to sexually. This is, as perceived by some men, rejection.
First off, if the shoe fits wear it, meaning be responsible for your own behavior. If you are being creepy deal with it. Secondly, since when does anyone have automatic rights to acceptance by anyone else most especially where relationships are concerned. More to the point why, just because you want to have sex with me, should I just say yes because you want me to? What am I, a vending machine?
I was a creepy girl in high school. I used to think that just because I had a vagina and men seemed to want a vagina it was ok for me to behave badly. I stalked a couple of guys, went on a date and had no idea how to behave because it just didn't happen. I didn't date. Did I like sex? It was ok but teenaged boys are not known for their skills. Was I slutty? I can count on one hand the number of partners I had during high school that included consent by me. But my behavior came from an entirely messed up place. I propose that creeps of the world are not limited to men and if more than one rejection happens with the creepy tag then you may need to rethink your behavior or your choices of desirable partners. I did and now I get respect as well as good relationships and sex.
Is it equal to slut shaming? Not at all. Here is why. Creep shaming is a false dilemma. It implies that you have a right to engage in and enjoy behaving in a disrespectful manner without consequence of rejection. I was rightly rejected by the object of my obsessions, I changed my behavior and am consequently, more appealing to a limited number of people, fortunately they are the people I also want to have sex with.
Sex is a natural thing, an expression of life. Women can and do enjoy it and we should have a right to pursue a healthy sexual life just as men do. But the difference between what constitutes healthy for a woman and healthy for a man are unequal.
Next reason. Creep shaming also implies that every man has a RIGHT to sex with whomever he deems worthy. Also not really fair. A woman may be able to have more sexual partners than a man more easily mainly because guys aren't as picky as they could be. But a woman has to think about the long run. Can I have a relationship with this guy? Does he appeal to me? Do I have to be drunk to get away with sleeping with him? Is he safe? Could I see having kids with him? Like it or not these things are part of the deal. Men, you may not be picky but we have to be. When all our sexual decisions are looked askance. Every sexual encounter other than the married one are questioned by society, our peers, the media, our parents. Besides, what is wrong with having standards? Men are apparently allowed to get old, be fat, lazy, unkempt assholes and still expect to get sex. While women of size are treated like the last resort in beer town and the sexy women are vilified because they cause you to want to behave badly. Which is it boys?
Now Friend Zoning. This is where two people apparently get along great and the guy wants more than friendship from the relationship. He brings it up and is Friend zoned. I have done this. It is not an intentional and malicious denial of your manliness. If your only reason for being friends with me is to get me into bed then you are barking up the wrong tree. In spite of popular belief women and men can be friends. I was and continue to be friends with Prof and Mad Science. I have a friend now who I don't find physically to be my type. Intellectually though he is a keeper. I love talking to him and engaging on any topic personal or otherwise. However, I believe that sleeping with him would change the dynamic in the relationship. Also it breaks a rule I have. Never sleep with your best friend's boyfriend without her express consent.
Do nice guys finish last? I don't know I have a number of nice guys in my life who behave respectably both to me and everyone they know. Not all women want big stud-ly dudes that act like jerks. So the whole bad boy thing is a limited play deal. If the girl you want to bed isn't interested move on and stop bitching.
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