Well, here I am on Wednesday in the middle of another fabo week of bubble time. It's been cold here and snowed a little but we haven't really done much but play Skyrim, Fallout, and Assassin's Creed and hanging out on the couch. Bubble time is pretty much reality optional, as you know. We have ventured out a time or two. Saturday was the con. We only went to schmoosh Jennie Breeden who does one of my favorite comics The Devil's Panties. I also like her comic on filthyfigments.com called ID. I was totally cool while Prof. Geeked out and then once we got out of the dealer room with my autographed copies and a pic of us huddled up for the camera I squee'd like a school girl. We did eat at my favorite restaurant HuHot and had an exchange of gifts. But mostly it's been eat, sleep, game, and have lucious sex. I must go back to work post Easter but for now things are comfy and lazy. I will post a pic of me and Jennie as soon as I get it back to my Mac baby.
Missing Mad Sci but it's a hazard, I always miss someone. Hope everyone has had a nice spring holiday be it the Solstice, Easter, or Spring Break!
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
Labels are for folders
In my life I have been straight, lesbian, bi, christian, pagan, buddhist, atheist, kinky, vanilla, poly, a mom, a sister, a daughter, married, single, dating, divorced, pro birth, pro choice, for guns, pro corporal punishment, against big gov, against big business, anti church, and tons of other things, and that doesn't even cover my work life. The point is, that I believe what we call ourselves is about where we are in the moment. Labels are useful as an exploratory tool to help us identify who we are and that changes over time. It isn't that I wasn't any of those things. What I am now in no way negates what I have been.
It's like dating. I don't know if anyone else does this, but when I go on a first date, I literally try on everything I own. My life is like that, I try on roles like clothes to see if it's where I am. Sometimes those things are a good fit, sometimes they are but only for a little while. I grow out of stuff sometimes.
Labeling is a problem in the sense that other people want to lock you into an identity and all it's baggage (theirs or yours) and then want to get snarky when things change. You are not true to their idea of who you are and how you are supposed to act according to them. They call names: slut, fag, sinner, cleptocrat, etc. Why? Because they want the people around them to be predictable, controllable? Possibly, I think it may have more to do with them not embarrassing themselves. Like the guy who finds himself attracted to a woman only to find she is not what he expected. He's now angry about false advertising. His body or emotions have betrayed him and so he questions himself but is angry at the other person.
We all want to believe we can read people, that somehow we would just know if the person across the table is a racist or a category 5 schizo but we don't always know. It really is best to get to know a person, each person, without labels. Labels are expectations. Expectations are pre-paid resentments. I know someone who says expectations are like masturbation in the end you are only screwing yourself.
So like Dan, I am just me. If I claim to be something, remember it is not the world shattering permanent disappointment you are expecting. Much like asking if this dress makes me look fat, I have to ask myself if this label makes me the person I want to be.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Pussy Cat, the Griffin, and the Moon Faced Girl
This is a post about women.
Pussy Cat, Mad Sci's love interest, has sort of given up on him for a bit to focus on me. We spent nearly four hours on the phone friday night talking about stuff but mostly her "great issue". I don't really have a problem with it myself, but she seemed to think that I could convince him to change. That's not really how this works for us, but I listened and tried to be as understanding as possible. I also offered every defense, not because I don't agree but because I felt defensive somehow. Some of this is about feeling pressured to do something for the sake of someone else I barely know and have a casual interest in. Some of this is that I don't much care for ultimatums and it feels like one. I did warn her I have issues with women who make themselves an authority in my life. I don't know how much I feel heard on this. I like her well enough but not enough to pursue her personally. I fear, she may be too much like me for a relationship to work well between us. She's a person with big plans and a bit of a hero complex. Not that those things are bad, I just don't require saving.
Speaking of not requiring saving, I went to my wellness visit which is now required by my employer group and my numbers were too high. Cholesterol, blood pressure though not yet catastrophic still higher than they should be. I also found that I was deficient in D and iron. So my decision to make lifestyle changes a month before the appointment was a good one, and I am happy to know that my instinct payed off, even before I had numbers to back it up. I'm saving myself here, in case you were wondering about the connection.
The Griffin, a woman I consider my equal and one of my dearest friends, has moved back into town after a year away. She has come back with Mr. Atheist and already there is trouble in paradise for them. Not issues I want to discuss here but I worry about their happiness. Having broken her foot the day they moved into their old apartment she is feeling a bit stressed even on the vicodin. She hobbled on crutches, what amounts to three blocks or so, to my house today because she was upset with Mr. A. I hope things work out to their highest good. But I sure am glad to have my playmate back.
The Moon Faced Girl, wife of the late Stone Cricket and a dear friend to me, notified me recently, that she might visit this month. I look forward to seeing her. I don't really know what to expect but there will be giggling for sure.
I have work this month, hooray! And there will be bubble time with Prof at the end of the month. It will be our 10th anniversary. Ok the last bit wasn't about women but good enough. I hope everyone has a great month.
Pussy Cat, Mad Sci's love interest, has sort of given up on him for a bit to focus on me. We spent nearly four hours on the phone friday night talking about stuff but mostly her "great issue". I don't really have a problem with it myself, but she seemed to think that I could convince him to change. That's not really how this works for us, but I listened and tried to be as understanding as possible. I also offered every defense, not because I don't agree but because I felt defensive somehow. Some of this is about feeling pressured to do something for the sake of someone else I barely know and have a casual interest in. Some of this is that I don't much care for ultimatums and it feels like one. I did warn her I have issues with women who make themselves an authority in my life. I don't know how much I feel heard on this. I like her well enough but not enough to pursue her personally. I fear, she may be too much like me for a relationship to work well between us. She's a person with big plans and a bit of a hero complex. Not that those things are bad, I just don't require saving.
Speaking of not requiring saving, I went to my wellness visit which is now required by my employer group and my numbers were too high. Cholesterol, blood pressure though not yet catastrophic still higher than they should be. I also found that I was deficient in D and iron. So my decision to make lifestyle changes a month before the appointment was a good one, and I am happy to know that my instinct payed off, even before I had numbers to back it up. I'm saving myself here, in case you were wondering about the connection.
The Griffin, a woman I consider my equal and one of my dearest friends, has moved back into town after a year away. She has come back with Mr. Atheist and already there is trouble in paradise for them. Not issues I want to discuss here but I worry about their happiness. Having broken her foot the day they moved into their old apartment she is feeling a bit stressed even on the vicodin. She hobbled on crutches, what amounts to three blocks or so, to my house today because she was upset with Mr. A. I hope things work out to their highest good. But I sure am glad to have my playmate back.
The Moon Faced Girl, wife of the late Stone Cricket and a dear friend to me, notified me recently, that she might visit this month. I look forward to seeing her. I don't really know what to expect but there will be giggling for sure.
I have work this month, hooray! And there will be bubble time with Prof at the end of the month. It will be our 10th anniversary. Ok the last bit wasn't about women but good enough. I hope everyone has a great month.
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