I am trying to stop making excuses beyond yes and no. You know what I mean when someone says: "Why didn't you call me?" or "Can you come to this event?"
It's always "No, because X." "I was going to but.... Why isn't it good enough to just say yes, or no. Sometimes the "good reason" is because time alone was more important than time together. That should be ok. Why isn't it?
"Because it was something I thought I wanted to do or didn't want to do." should be enough when probed. I shouldn't have to lay out some laundry list of lame acceptable items. I was too sick, too tired, too broke. I also shouldn't have to go into why I don't like to hang out with some people some times or in some situations. Those reasons are my business and not open for discussion until I am in a better state of mind.
I wonder if this is primarily a girl problem, part of the programing. We must have excuses so we sound more busy than we are, or apologetic and sensitive perhaps, I'm not at all sure I sound any better making excuses. Their feelings aren't my business if the delivery is done with kindness I've done what I could for me and them.
What do you say? Can you take a simple yes or no without asking why?
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