First, I must apologize for such a long absence from blogging but I've been down with a terrible cold or flu and am just beginning to feel like doing more than sleeping. Secondly, Happy Holiday, Merry Christmas, Bright Yule, Happy Hanukkah and Blessed Kwanza.
I've told you that Mad Science has a new prospect right? She is intelligent, attractive, talented and well... seriously interviewing the crap out of us. Not that I wouldn't do the same, it is after all, important to know what you are getting into before you get into it. I've been honest about myself and my position. I've listened and asked for clarification but I have to admit to feeling a tiny bit overwhelmed.
Ok, mentally I know this is normal and that it will change, but there is some small part of me, you know the little part that has no sense of time, that wonders how long this interviewing process will take. I've made clear my position on the issue and now I just have to wait. I am happy for Mad Science, really, maybe a little jealous that his potential metamour is close by, while mine is not. But his happiness is important to me.
There is one other thing, I am a little concerned about, she has this one issue that could cause us to make some personal changes that might be quite expensive for the sake of her health. Changes that she feels would be better for us and our health as well. I have to wonder is it worth that?
All that aside I think the most disturbing thing about all this is not what the Pussycat is doing or how Mad Science is dealing with it but what is coming up for me.
I seem to be losing my mind, I fear. For the moment, I am rational enough to look at the little daycare of emotions that is mine, and see it for what it is. I feel a little angry that I'm not getting enough of Mad Science's quality time. I also wonder that she doesn't seem to understand that when we are having a date night that means we can't talk right now. There is a boundary issue we will have to learn to speak and stick by. There is fear that I will have to change some lifestyle things to suit her comfort. And of course, the fear that he will end what we have for her sake. Silly all of it. Most of it is unrealistic and without foundation but those feelings are what they are regardless of facts. It will take time to come to trust her as I trust my boys.
The truth is I trust Mad Science to make the best decision for the FOC and I will make compromises and adjust for myself as I see reasonable. Let's not be mistaken, I like the Pussycat and I think she would be a valuable asset to the family no matter the level of intimacy. I admire her staunch protection of her own health as a boundary but like many people who are very self championing sometimes the needs, desires and feelings of others may be overlooked all together. For now I will try to calm the childish notions within me and wait and see what happens. This is the first time since Moon-faced girl that I've had to deal with another woman this close up as metamour so we will see if I can make myself behave more sensibly.
In other news Prof is down visiting his family and I've had a couple of stolen days with him over the last week. He will stay with us after Christmas for a couple of days before he has to be back for work. So that has been comforting. I have to wonder what he will think of the new girl and how he will handle the interview process since he isn't a live-in member of the FOC.
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