Ok I read this article. Dad's, you don't own your daughters on OXjane. It reminded me of the extreme end of this idea, father daughter incest. It also reminded me of the marque of the Chick-fil-a in my area which was hosting a Daddy-daughter date night and yes big D for daddy little d for daughter.
Don't such things as purity balls and date nights encourage and support ownership behaviors? Why date night and not outing? Dating implies some sexual tension an adult activity for the purpose of spousal or at least sexual partner interviews. Is that appropriate? I personally don't think so. It's too close to the line for me. For a man to truly believe that he has more right to make choices for his daughter regarding her sexuality and what she does with her body, than she does is wrong. I feel it's wrong for a mom to disparage anyone her son dates as "some slut trying to take away my baby".
Parenting isn't about ownership. It's responsibility is not to make mini-me carbon copies of oneself who ease your work burden, or pay your way or care for you later in life. Kids are people who are essentially on loan. The joy of parenthood should be watching someone you have nurtured be able to make it on their own and think and feel for themselves and succeed. Too many parents are worried about conformity to "traditional" ideas. Too worried about being "good" parents. I have children myself, which I did not raise because I was worried that my family curse would pass to them through my dysfunctional parenting. Not that I believed I owned and had a right to abuse them but that I knew I didn't have any useful skills and didn't want to damage them bumbling around for answers on responsible parenting.
Incest taught me that a man has a right to your body period. My mother's silence on this was complicit. I have since made my own responsible way of it but I started adulthood with a huge deficit in self respect and good sense which has taken many years to acquire.
As a young woman uncertain of what to do with her life, marriage seemed most likely and though I did not want children for the above stated reasons, I had them. I think lots of people find themselves in my position.
I do have to say that a solid father daughter relationship can be a good thing. And not everyone who feels the tension acts on it but it is a slippery slope. Ownership, to objectification, to abuse. It's not so far fetched when incest and emotional abuse are pretty prevalent.
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