Getting caught with your mental pants down.

I recently came across a legal case in Iowa, I'm sure you know the one, where a dental assistant was fired for being "a threat to the bosses marriage". Here is the brief of the actual legal decision. http://www.iowacourts.gov/Supreme_Court/Recent_Opinions/20121221/11-1857.pdf

This woman worked for this man for 10 years and only in the last little while had the relationship become "dangerous". The wife (who felt threatened) also worked in the office. The man fired his assistant because he felt it responsible to remove a temptation that may, at some point in the future, cause him to violate the contract of his marriage. Jealousy wins again.

Now, you know how I feel about the exclusivity contract of paper marriage. But if you are going to agree to the terms of the contract, you must play by it's rules. His marriage was important enough to him to fire the woman he was tempted by, but not to refrain from unprofessional behavior. Rather than back off his attentions, and exhibit self control on his part, he allowed the jealousy of his wife and her insecurity to make the decision for him. Nothing had happened between the man and his assistant except a few unprofessional texts. Texts, that in any other case could have been grounds for sexual harassment, but she didn't feel harassed by him.

Though, I can see how a man could make this decision for the sake of supporting his end of the contract I am a little concerned about what this may mean for women in the workplace in the future.

First, let's address the double standard. Many places have a very specific dress codes for women, some places require makeup, heels, skirts, and adornments. I have met women who were fired after becoming overweight, because their personal appearance no longer fit the image the company wished to convey to the public. The message seems clear, "Be pretty, slightly sexy but not too sexy". While it can be said that some male run companies want to exploit sex appeal for profit there is also the increasing liability when it comes to potential harassment from male employees. There seems to be a fuzzy line about how much is too much.

Then, there is the is the Marriage Question. Do the married have a right to use the legal system to support feelings of insecurity, hearsay, rumor and supposition? Should such legal action be used as a preventative for possible infidelity. Will the supreme court in any state find it necessary to ban women from the workplace because some men can't control their urges? It's like blaming the raped for being raped rather than the rapist. Will one person's insecurity or emotional immaturity now dictate who is hired or fired? This totally let this man off the hook, firing someone HE found tempting made him look like some sort of hero, a champion of traditional marriage. But it does seem to ignore that it was he who initiated inappropriate contact. While she could have created a more solid boundary than mere silence you have to wonder what was going on really?

Is it now to be a crime to get caught with your mental pants down? And why is it up to women to uphold the moral platform of our society? Where are the men here? As spiritual head of household isn't that his job? I suppose in this case he did his job by firing the temptation but honestly why is she the one who has to suffer for something she hadn't even agreed to? If she made no advances and did nothing to suggest or encourage a sexual liaison why should she pay for his potential breech of contract. It does take two to have an affair after all. What's next burkahs?