Judged: What do I say when it happens?

I have been witness to some pretty awful statements about my person. Everything from,
"You know you are going to hell, right?" to "Social rules are in place to weed out deviant freaks like you. You should probably just kill yourself and make it easier on the rest of us." Frequently, what I meet isn't that vicious or hateful and I can't say I am always gracious or kind in return.

For me useful response is much easier when I think of judgmental people in the following ways:

• Human beings are notorious for being resistant to anything that falls outside their understanding and comfort zone.
• Often people speak out of ignorance of the topic at hand. Either they assume my husband is somehow "pimping me out" or that I am somehow a sex addict and that is all poly could possibly be about. 
• People often speak out of their own feelings, emotions, and experiences about how things should be or how they would themselves behave.
• Opinions are only frozen ideas not the identity of the whole person, a person who doesn't realize they can thaw those ideas and change them is then crippled by those limits.
• Opinion is not law. If I take an opinion to heart as a deep rejection there are a couple of reasons why. Either I am uncomfortable with the "rightness" of my choices and feel this person may be correct or that I am under threat of some sort of later violence from this person. I take their ideas about my life and compare them to what my experience says is true. I am very aware that not every behavior is useful in the long term. If I limit love by saying poly is the only way I can live I am just as guilty as those who say that marriage is only one man and one woman at one time. Love has no limits but my expression of love may change based on what is useful at a time.
• Not all people who criticize polyamory are ignorant, wrong, or frightened. They may have tried it and failed for some reason and are concerned about my happiness.
• Everyone is broken, we are all just a bunch of bozo's on the bus who are doing the best we can in the confines of our experience and understanding. No one has the market on what is best for themselves much less anyone else.
• Everyone has a right to their opinion, I can thank them for sharing and take that information and let it eat me or I can deal with it. What I do with it is not their business. I don't get poly points for winning people over. It is not my job to change their minds.
• Also if I can't take the abuse I should not wave my flag. No one agrees with everything I do nor should I expect acceptance even from the most enlightened.

If we are to ever see a change in universal thinking in the direction of tolerance we must be mindful of how tolerant we ourselves are. Bashing bible thumping narrow minded bigots is as intolerant a position. It may be true, but how does telling them that become less violent or more useful to my case? Does it make me angry? Yes. Do I deal with it in my internal life? Yes. Does it give me any right to act out against another human being? No, not unless they are committing an action that takes away my right to choose.