Business of Love: what I leaned about my relationships in business school

1. Identify the need: How can you have a selling product if you don't know what need it fills? I had to know what I needed and what someone else needed, to know if we were a good fit.

2. Differentiation: If you are going to compete in a market, you need to offer something different. In my case it was consciousness, compassion and honesty. For some it's pretty packaging. I am kind of the Birkenstock of relationships not as gorgeous as a Kenneth Cole or as wild as Chinese Laundry but practical, comfortable, and I conform over time and wear. That had to be my selling point. I had to promote my strengths. I knew that I could be made up to be more visually appealing or workout or dress less comfortably but I also knew that I couldn't maintain that indefinitely. So I sell it like it is.

3. Customer Service: If you think you can maintain a huge bottom line and not take care of your customers you are crazy. When something goes wrong and it's you, own it, fix it and be a better person. When the exchange is deeper than money it is worth it. Not to say that the consumer is always right. If there is no way to offer what they want without it costing you more in sanity or self esteem, let them go elsewhere and thank them for their patronage.

4. Everyone doesn't need what you are selling: We find this in religion a lot. Not everyone responds to what you have on offer. Know your target audience. Don't be a creepy stalker.

5. Location, Location, Location: If you are going to successfully sell yourself wouldn't it make sense to be in the place where what you want is likely? You don't sell gaming books to fashion hounds. You don't sell pregnancy books to single men. If you have an interest go where other people want the same things. I am a geek. I don't dance. I don't dress up. I read, I game, I love science. I go where that's already happening.

6. Evaluate satisfaction regularly: Ask questions, of yourself and your partner(s) to see how things are going. Is this relationship working for you? Is it working for them. How can you work together to get more for each of you out of it?

I know that seems cold but when the failure rate of new relationships is so high why risk it by assuming it is going to be a spontaneous chemical reaction. Of course it happens and the chemical response is, for some, enjoyable. But when the feelings settle down a bit you have to live with it. Avoid buyers remorse choose wisely.